FOOD!

Ok, so I know back in January I said I wanted to blog more about food... So here I am a *cough* few months later trying it out. I became aware and interested in the quality of the food I fed myself and my family a couple of years ago. Like many others health issues made me realize the importance of what and how we eat. Right now I am trying to get back to where I was after my health issues started. My body is screaming at me, so here I am starting over again. I found myself again using old excuses such as "there isn't enough time". There is time if I plan, so this post is about how I plan. I am not a stay at home mom, as much as I wish I was. I work full time, I also am a graduate student and classes are starting back up in a couple of weeks. This weekend I planned and did some major shopping for the next two weeks. I try to only shop every other weekend, this frees up the non shopping weekend for cleaning and fun activities for the family. Today I went to my local farmer's market for most of our fresh produce. I love the market, such pretty, fresh, quality food at reasonable prices. Especially fruit. Lots of yummies were purchased, then I went to the grocery store for the rest. Then the real work begins. What I have found is that for my produce to last the entire two weeks there is work that has to be done. See below for all the prepping and cleaning for two weeks of lunches and dinners. 

Look at all this deliciousness!! 

THE FRUIT:

There were some amazing nectarines, plums, pluots, and apples. I rinse those and leave them in the fridge so they are ready to eat. The strawberries took a bit more work. 

Gorgeous aren't they? Delicious too!

 I sort the strawberries into two groups one to freeze and one to eat. 

Washed and topped ready for the freezer.

I hate to waste such seasonal yumminess, the frozen ones will be used for smoothies or strawberry cupcakes when we want/need them.

Fridge time!

The other group is for lunches/snacks during the week. I put them unwashed in a tupperware to keep them fresh a bit longer. 

The veggies!

There is a lot to do with veggies, and I try to cut down on my prep time during the week. I pre cut my onions and other veg whenever possible. These onions are going into spaghetti sauce, a stew, and two for the freezer for a later date. 

Oh the tears!

 This green bell pepper has a similar fate!

Now to celery. This celery is for lunches and for the stew. I went ahead diced some for the stew and stored with the onion, the rest is cut and put in a tupperware with a bit of water to keep it fresh. 

Size matters.

See!

Carrots! Since the family enjoys eating whole carrots I am not going to cut them all. Carrots also keep fairly well. this 5lbs bag may last longer than the 2 weeks. Some are also sliced for the stew. 

For lunches and quick snacks. Those big carrots don't fit in lunch pails!

Oh the herbs!
I had a bad reputation for wasting herbs. One day I'll learn how to garden and will grow these so I save some money... until that day I will used this trick. Layer the herbs on paper towels and roll them. Store in a ziplock bag, and keep in the crisper drawer. 

Whoa, time for a break.. well at least preparing for a break.. I get this reward once it is all done.

Can't wait!

For years I would waste lettuce. I used to buy the bags or the plastic box of lettuce. Then would throw out what we didn't finish. Since I started buying heads of lettuce and prepping them this way we rarely waste any. It can last up to 3 weeks in the crisper drawer. 

This is 3 heads of lettuce!

First I remove the ends and the core of each head and lay it in my plugged sink. I then rinse the lettuce. We are in a drought here in Cali so where I used to fill the sink I only use a couple of inches of water now. The lettuce seems just as clean. I then spin the lettuce in a salad spinner. 

Post spin.

I lay a single layer of lettuce on a paper towels. This is 6 of the half sheets, use 3 for full size paper towels. Put the lettuce on half of the paper towel.

 Then lay the other half of the paper towel on top of the lettuce.

It's a lettuce blanket!

Then roll just like the herbs and place in a ziplock bag. A gallon size bag with hold 3-4 rolls of lettuce. 

Each roll is enough for a dinner salad such as a taco salad for our family of 4, or 2-3 lunch salads just for me. :D

So this is how I spent my Saturday morning/afternoon. 2 hours shopping plus another 2 hours or so prepping. Now time for that hard cider!

Peace and love,

Jay

Not Sure How To Say This

This post is very personal and raw. I am not in a good place, but I have to get this out of me. As I write these words I do not know if I will ever hit the publish button. I know I am not alone in my experience,but I feel very very alone.

I am pregnant and most likely going to miscarry. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, I had an IUD in. My husband and I very much believed we were done having kids. We have two wonderful girls that are full of life and energy. A lot of energy. They keep us on our toes and I was happy with the two of them. It seems like everyone thinks thoughts about what you should do with your reproductive life. We have two girls so it isn't unusual to have people ask: " aren't you going to try for a boy?" or "I'm sure your husband wants a son". He doesn't actually. He is quite content with the two handfuls we have, and besides our youngest could give most boys a run for their money. My world was rocked in early April when I felt a little off and decided to take a pregnancy test fully expecting it to be negative. I rushed off to the OBGYN, a doctor that I did not know and didn't know me. My wonderful OB had moved to another hospital. So I am talking to a stranger about WTF just happened. My office urine test at first was negative, so they did a second. The first turned slightly positive (yes one can be just a little bit pregnant). Anyway because the IUD there was a good chance this pregnancy was going to be tubal. This scared the hell out of me. So we did a blood test, which confirmed I was pregnant. A second blood test confirmed things "were progressing well" so in a week I had an ultrasound. Nothing was there. So another blood test, things were ok but levels were lower than expected. 2 weeks later another ultrasound a tiny sac was seen, at least I no longer had to worry about it not being in my uterus. This didn't necessarily make sense, but maybe you're earlier than we think. In my head none of this was adding up. I tend toward logic and reason, I do tons (maybe too much) research. I don't just Google websites I go into research journals. I know that with statistics there are outliers, and if this experience has taught me anything its how little doctors and scientists really know about early pregnancy. So much of it is well could be abnormal or could be completely normal we just don't know. The IUD I was using left me with a .7% chance of pregnancy. I already am an outlier, I kinda found hope in this that maybe things will be ok I ovulated late and his sperm just live for a long time. I dunno I was reaching for any form of hope, yet my gut kept telling me that this isn't meant to be. Fast forward to this weekend, Mother's day weekend. I started spotting on Friday and went to the ER on Saturday. In 9 days the sac has hardly grown. The ER doctor has been the most honest with me in saying that she would expect things to be further along than they are. She tried to be hopeful by saying that things are not set in stone, and since they know so little about early pregnancy progression things may work out, but that I should prepare for the worst. I had thought I already was. I was wrong. Before this pregnancy I was empathetic to women who have had or are going through miscarriages. I had no clue how devastating this really is. My heart aches in ways I didn't know it could. It feels as though I am losing a child. I am losing a child, a child who I will never get to see grow. That will never drive me bonkers. Toes I'll never get to kiss. I will never get to bond with, and hold, and love. It is unbelievably heartbreaking. Yet most of the time I cannot express how sad I am. Many people don't know I am pregnant, my older two have no idea. I don't want them to have their hopes up for a sibling that will never come. I have to be normal in front of them, I have to hide the sadness. My husband tries to be understanding and I know he is going through his own version of this hell. We've talked about it, he hates how out of his control this whole thing is. Heh, tell me about it it is in my fucking body and I have no way to help. The not knowing is hard, I have been in this limbo for over a month. I kept saying I am trying not to connect with being pregnant, trying to keep distant, it just isn't possible for me. Though I was surprised and scared when I found out I was pregnant I quickly started to fall in love with my baby. This baby that will most likely never be. I will not be the same after this loss. I do not regret this happening, it is a part of my life and my history. I will always remember this time, and try to grow from it. Try to be a better friend to woman going through this type of loss. The grieving is very deep and very real. I so desperately want to cling to that small hope that all of this will be ok, but the logical part of me wants to let go now so I don't hurt again later. Right now I feel lost, and alone. I want comfort, but don't want to talk to people. Maybe that's why I felt the urge to write about it. The anonymity of the internet. I can buffer the contact, it isn't quite as draining. I also know I needed to get it out of me, that I have been tearing myself up for days holding all the pain in. It is ok for me to be sad, I am working on accepting this.
I hope for someone these words help in some way.

Peace and Love
Jay

New Adventures

     So in a previous post I brought up changes I want to make. Like many others I have become interested in a more "natural" lifestyle. I am bothered by the amount of chemicals that we are surrounding ourselves with and putting into our bodies. As a mother I am particularly concerned with how this effects my children. My oldest daughter who is now 6 has had eczema since she was about 4 weeks old. So very early on I removed dyes and scents from our detergent, I did this by buying commercial dye and scent free detergent. We did everything the doctors recommended yet her eczema persisted. Her skin cracked and oozed. I would look at her poor cracked knuckles and try very hard not to cry. She would cry out when the medicine and lotions made her skin burn. I was at a loss, what else can I do? So I started looking at other methods. Our first and most substantial change to date is making our own laundry soap. This simple change has helped her skin so much. She isn't 100% clear, but her skin is not cracking, she has no oozing and when we put her lotions on she is not in pain. I also love the convenience of making my own laundry soap. When we run low no need to head to the store at 9pm on a Tuesday night because that shirt HAS to be clean tomorrow. No just take 20 min in the kitchen and viola! In a recent Twitter conversation I spontaneously documented the process and realized how quick and easy it really is. I started doing this around March 2013 I've only had to make soap a total of 3 times and has cost us less than 10.00 total. Pretty freaking awesome when a large container of our previous commercial detergent cost between 15 and 20 dollars. Our clothes are as clean if not cleaner, actually smell clean even though there is no fragrance in the homemade soap. This adventure into homemade laundry soap has me thinking about what else we can do for ourselves.
    I have taken to trying to find easy and convenient ways to do things for ourselves. The more I think on it the more I realize that as a society we have lost how to do things. Easy things, making spaghetti sauce for instance. Until recently I have ALWAYS bought sauce. My parents for a large portion of my life bought sauce. It is "easier" than making our own. While in a pinch this is true but if you plan a little you can make your own without the chemical additive and freeze or can (if you know how, another lost art for large numbers of us) as many as you would buy. The more I think about it the more frustrated I get by how expensive things are and how much we have lost. I do not know how to can, I know my parents have done it when they make homemade pickles (which are awesome btw, nothing better than homemade award winning dill pickles). This is a process I was never interested in but now see the value in. I also have the blackest thumb known to man, I kill any and every plant. I do see the value in growing our own food. I desperately want to learn how to garden. This spring we will be trying, something small. Lettuce, tomatoes, a few other veggies. Strawberry plants for the kids. I want to be able to look in our backyard and have pride in what we have done. My husband thinks I have lost it most of the time though he has been impressed with some of the new recipes I have tried. He is being supportive though which I really appreciate. Small steps are important though. I keep reigning myself in a bit. One or two changes at a time so we don't get overwhelmed. I have started making shampoo as well. The recipe I have tried seems to work ok on the girls hair, not so much on mine so some tweaking will be occurring.
     Today will bring another new adventure my package of supplies to make body butter has arrived!! So excited to try this, this should help my daughter's skin heal much better than store bought lotions. I fully plan on taking advantage of staying home with a sick child by trying something new and exciting. I am excited to try these new things to become more self-sufficient to learn old things. I am documenting our adventure as a family because one it's fun and two maybe a person or two might find it helpful. Look for a post soon about shea body butter and about how the garden will progress. woohoo! Feel free to email suggestions/comments to jaygurrlie@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @jaygurrl.

Peace and Love
Jay